By Mark Rearden, West Lake Country Club | October 1, 2020
A few years ago I was watching a wonderful tennis match during the Small College National Championships at the Palmetto Tennis Center. A few of the tournament level juniors from our junior program were sitting in close proximity and enjoying the match as well. I was particularly impressed with how poised one of the on-court players was, especially after making an unforced error. I made the comment to fellow pro Michael Pereira, “I like the way this guy manages mistakes.” The statement was partially because I wanted to get Michael’s take on it and partially because I wanted the kids sitting next to me to hear it.
Years ago, I was very fortunate to have an accomplished sports psychologist as a doubles partner for the better part of 2-3 years. He taught me much about how to frame learning such that the student could hear it and bring less mental baggage into the process. “Sometimes examples teach better,” he would say. To clarify, if I had said to one of my young protégés,” I wish you acted more like this guy after you missed than the way you act,” they may have gotten the message, but they may also have heard, “I wish you were different than you are.” Not horrible, but I think you have to be careful if you don’t want to lose the purity of the message. Many of us who have several children at home know how careful you must be making comparisons. Impressionable minds and egos often hear something totally different than what we intend. Most of the time what we want as coaches/parents is for the child to have a different response to a particular situation, not a change in who they are.
So let’s get back to the young lad who was out there in the midst of battle and why I like the way he handles mistakes. When he missed or when his opponent got the better of him, he did not wallow in disappointment or “rage on” until he let all the world see how hacked off he was. Does he experience the same feelings we do after disappointment? Likely. But he does not stay with the anger or disappointment very long. He may have a quick outburst of emotion, a release so to speak, but then moves on to the task at hand, playing the next point. And this has ramifications beyond being the best way for the athlete to respond to adversity. It impacts your opponent, too. It does not give them anything to feed off. It makes it more difficult for them to see those windows of opportunity where they need to turn up the heat.
Since we have established that often times examples teach better, let’s go with a couple. A number of years ago when Roger Federer was in his prime and nearly invincible, I saw a post-match interview with his opponent for the next round. He was answering question after question about what one has to do to play effectively against one of the best players of all time. Then came this question: “What can you do to impact Federer’s psyche and get under his skin.” He glared back at the reporter and responded, “Are you serious? The man doesn’t sweat.” The room erupted in laughter, but the player just shook his head, disregarded the reporter, and was clearly angered by the question. Aside from being the incredible talent he is, Roger Federer rarely gave opponents anything to feed off, even in those times when he was down.
Before his infamous fall from grace, there were few who could hold a candle to the steely look of determination of Tiger Woods. There may be some debate about whether he masked his anger so well, but little debate about how quickly he got back on task in those days. So intense and focused was his well-developed personae that announcers even began attaching his level of intensity to those occasions when he wore the RED Nike shirt instead of any other color. Really? And say it in your head with all the sarcasm you hear in your kids when they use that word. Woods and his handlers must have laughed often once they began hearing conversations about which shirt he was wearing and what it meant. The point here is, by not giving your opponent anything to work with, they will make up whatever story is in their head about what you are feeling.
As tennis players and fellow athletes, let them see your passion, your grit. And even a bit of your discontent when things don’t go so well. But turn off the long term stalking about that signals to your opponent, “It is time to turn up the heat on this guy.” The more we sell poise on the outside the sooner it will start to be a part of who we are on the inside. Mark my words.